The biggest obstacle between ‘what is’ and ‘what can’ be is my own mind. It operates quite contextually. Now my world is ISB. The point of reference is the people at ISB. Another 10 months, it is quite likely I will never ever meet many of these people. But today I benchmark myself with these people. They become my circle of concern.

I try and influence my mind to think about both past and future. In past, my references were different and in future they are going to be different. I also want to realize that given my experience, my banking background (only 6-7 bankers in the entire class of 2006), I am not competing for placements with even 2 % of the people. Effectively, I should be quite pleased with myself if I manage to get my concepts right, be amongst 90 % of the marks (which so far it looks like I am) and constantly relate what I learn here to what I had done in my work.

Not that I din’t know that comparisons are odious. Not that I din’t know that learning is, as is career, a marathon and in the long run what matters is the ability to sustain and manage ups and downs and still progress. But, mind is a place in itself. It has its own ways of looking at things. How to manage this body-mind duality and bring the body and mind to work towards the goals for which I am here?

Post Scriptum: The workload, and not to forget competition, are brutally punishing. I did not quite understand when someone told that course is intensive, thus sometimes traumatic, and that some have indeed resorted to a psychotherapist for recourse. However, the solutions as I realize, but cannot really fully control, are with myself and sitting pretty between my two ears.