I am told the adcom of ISB is working overtime. It took a week to receive the admit pack. I received mine today. Unlike my expectations, it contained just the admit letter and a CD. The CD has welcome speech by Ms Mahajan, the dean for PGP. The current students spoke about the campus life, about placements, et al. The alumni spoke about their association with their alma mater. It was fascinating to read the list of the faculty. It would be a privilege to be attending the classes conducted by these great Profs. It was all a nice feeling. But by night, I was overwhelmed by scary thoughts. Collywobbles!

My boss operates from a different city. At office, I am the boss. In the last few years, at office, I have been a “more equal than others” animal. Intimidation is something, which I have lost clue of. Now I await to be intimidated by my fellow students. The tech savvy friends from IT industry; the finance wiz kids that the CAs are; the IITians – I always that these guys/gals belonged to some other world made of super-geniuses. Now I have to compete with them. Would my colleagues from the IT industry laugh at my inability to do a “proper” google search. Would my CA friends wonder how I managed INR 5000 Million portfolio without ever knowing what IRR and NPV are. Would my IITian colleagues scare the hell out of me by their wryly smile at my “intuition based decision making” approach, which does not understand much of number crunching. Nevertheless, I see as much opportunity to learn from these colleague students. No pain, no gain.

All my life, i was responsible to someone or the other. All my pre-job education, it was parents and teachers to whom i was responsible. parents funded my studies; they had expectations; teachers would beat me. terrorise me. when i got my job, i became responsible to my employer. my employer paid for my living. i had to mortgage my time, i needed to behave, organise, deliver.

now, i choose to give up a well-paid job and attend a b-school. who am i responsible to. none. no one would beat me, scold me if i did not study; nobody would issue me memos if i did not perform. i am responsible to myself. a good feeling. freedom to be responsible to oneself.

the coming one year will tell how responsible i will be to myself.